kimonos and therapy

As much as I want to keep things away and not talk about them, sometimes it helps if I open up and let it out. So, I thought to discuss what it means to have a passion and mend my mental health at the same time.

The project

In October, when the bad weather arrived, meaning heavy rain and massive storms, I started shifting my focus to sewing indoor clothing to make myself feel cozy. I was desperate to sew another big bathrobe in a kimono style because the one I have is well-loved and needs a replacement.
When I started this project, I already had the pattern and also the fabric. I am a huge fan of working with bed sheets because I can get a massive amount of good quality fabric for a small price.

The problem

All these details made this project to be an easy one, but something was wrong. My mental health has never been great but this year I made the most progress. I’ve been raised by narcissists and I am considered the scapegoat so all my life has been a mess.

What does it mean to have a narcissistic parent?

Having a narcissistic parent means that the person consistently prioritizes their own needs and desires above those of their children. They often show traits like an inflated ego, a constant need for attention and praise, a lack of genuine empathy for others, and a tendency to manipulate or exploit family members for their benefit. This behavior can create a challenging and emotionally turbulent family environment, with children often feeling neglected, unimportant, or used for the parent’s personal gain.

My story is a complicated one, as is everybody’s, and I am sure that I am not alone, but the war I have to fight is all on me and sometimes is hard. This project will be remembered as a huge win. It took me one week to finish, even though I had to sew three pieces of fabric and two sleeves.

I always put a lot of pressure on myself to complete a project fast and exceptionally, which can kill the pleasure, and even in the end, I don’t feel any sensation of accomplishment. Most of the time, I want to start a new project, but the criticism I endured as a child comes from my inner self now, and sometimes I am not strong enough to fight it. I am still trying to figure out how it works and what I should do in those situations, but they are not always the same.

I wrote this story because I know that I am not alone, and I know how much people like me need encouragement, support, and compassion. This is not an easy journey, but with every win, it gets easier. All we have to do is allow ourselves to trust us more, listen to our intuition more, and not be afraid to make a decision.